Reflecting..

As I write these lines, I can't stop thinking about my life and about what I've been through in the last 2 years. So many bad and good things happen. It seems like at the end of a year we all try to think of the year that just passed. I graduated college this year. I am 22, still living with my parents, working and trying to find my own place in this world. Life is tough, not only mine, but life in general. We seem to always complain about the small things when in reality there are bigger problems in this world. So, back to me, I wanted to kill myself a week ago, I never felt so desperate in my entire life and it all began with the smallest reason ever, a mistake I made and in my mind that mistake couldn't have been repaired. So stupid of me to think that. I wanted to write this because I never thought I would be in that situation of thinking of committing suicide. But I did. Still trying to understand why, maybe I was just tired, tired of everything and I thought that was a solution. Imagine if I would have done that, today I wouldn't have been able to write these lines. The truth is that in my religion they say that if a person kills herself she doesn't deserve to be buried in a cemetery and she will go to hell, but honestly I think God gave us the choice to pick how we live our lives, and if we want it to end, it's our choice, our decision, why should we be punished for it? We choose what we want to do, when we want to do it and how we want to do it. And sometimes wanting to kill yourself isn't a cry for help, it's the end of a life, it's just a choice, of finishing something..