Going crazy

I am so stressed right now, I feel like I am going crazy. This week I have the biggest exam of my life. My heartbeat is racing even if I still have 4 more days until the exam. I am so stressed, I feel like I just need to go somewhere and just relax. That's why today I am going to the countryside, even if it's just 40 minutes away from the city it's the perfect place to relax instead of staying in this small apartment. I will be able to concentrate and focus on what's important whilst staying here it's just driving me crazy. I feel the pressure pushing me and I hope that by the end of this week things will turn out okay. These 3 years of college were all for this big exam. I hope I won't fail, I worked too much for this, too many hours and too much time invested in this. I pray that everything will turn out okay and then I will be able to say I am a college graduate. But until then I will keep on worrying, that's just who I am. 

Re-thinking

When you stand in front of death, almost nothing matters. It doesn't matter that that day you ate French fries, or that the coffee was too sweet, the thing that really matters is, maybe, before you die you remember you fought with your brother that day, you forgot to kiss your mom before you got out of the house, or maybe you just didn't consider important to tell the people you love something nice because you thought you will have enough time later. And those things remain unsaid, forever, just because you didn't tell them at the right moment. I can't stop thinking how death comes often unexpected, but at the same time I think about the people that know that they are going to die, it's a parallel between these things, a parallel of feelings and lives, everything so different when we were supposed to be all equal. So many people die before their time, children that didn't have the chance to live enough, all because of health mainly, and we, the majority don't appreciate our health and we waste our time doing nothing, when this time is so valuable for others, for people that have their days counted. You think how unfair it is for a 13 years old girl to die of cancer, and then you feel proud in a way of her because she accomplished so much in those 13 years and touched so many hearts, and I, 22 years old, healthy, I am not capable of living my life to the fullest, just because my mind is telling me I have time.
RIP Talia.