Happy birthday grandpa.

Number 17 seems to always follow me around. I didn't know why, but a while ago I realized it was my grandpa's birthday, he was born on a 17th. So 17 has become my lucky number. I guess I always have him close, even if he passed away in 2004. He is always nearby guiding me, I miss him a lot, I was 13 when he passed away and I feel like time is erasing more memories that I have with him, I respected him so much and last year I lost my grandma too, they were two of the people that I loved the most. Many things changed in almost 10 years since my grandpa died and the funny thing is that 10 years ago when he died I asked myself where will I be 10 years from now, and now I know. I'm here, writing this. 10 years is someone's lifetime and I know I grew up so much, I was only a child and now I am a young woman. I hope he is proud of me, because only now I am beginning to be proud of myself.

I think I am depressed

I feel so tired and confused and also alone. I have no friends, and I want to talk to someone so badly. But I can't, because obviously I have no friends. I feel like everything, starting with work buries me and I don't have no appetite for life, I feel exhausted and all days are the same. Exactly the same. All by myself and my own thoughts. No one to hold me, no one to listen to me. I feel so desperate sometimes, so desperate that I could scream. But I live in an apartment building, so that would be a very bad idea. I wish I could go somewhere for a few days all by myself, away from my family and re-think things. I should blame Autumn for feeling this way, I guess this thing happens every year around this time. Fall depression..