Today I found myself reading my old blog posts, and I started to read them beginning with the newest one and finishing with the first post that I ever published. It was getting harder and harder to read as I was getting closer to the first posts. I started writing because on the 28th of December I found out someone died. At that time I felt angry because the person that died was only 18 years old. He died on Christmas Day. It was shocking for me because I used to watch his YouTube videos and I just couldn’t believe he was gone. It was even harder for me to think at death because in the other room was my grandma. She was ill and she was on a bed for over 6 months. Now I know she is better and she doesn’t feel the pain anymore. She is in a better place. Even if I said this so many times I want to repeat it over and over again, life is not guaranteed for no one, it doesn’t matter that you are a child, a grownup or an old person. Death doesn’t make a difference between someone who had a family, who was a parent, a brother from someone who was alone and didn’t had anyone. It’s hard to know that someone might leave you unexpected or expected, because it’s hard to separate from a person you cared about.
The toughest moment at my grandma’s funeral was when they put the casket in the hole. I felt that even if I tried to be strong for my family, when I saw them lowering the casket my whole world collapsed, because I knew that my grandma’s body was in that casket, a lifeless body. When you lose a family member it’s hard to deal with the fact that you will never see that person again, at least not on Earth. What I wanted to actually say it’s that you should start living your life and stop wasting time. This is the way I deal with my loss, by writing and I hope that if a person who lost someone recently is going to see this, you are not alone unless you want to be.
The toughest moment at my grandma’s funeral was when they put the casket in the hole. I felt that even if I tried to be strong for my family, when I saw them lowering the casket my whole world collapsed, because I knew that my grandma’s body was in that casket, a lifeless body. When you lose a family member it’s hard to deal with the fact that you will never see that person again, at least not on Earth. What I wanted to actually say it’s that you should start living your life and stop wasting time. This is the way I deal with my loss, by writing and I hope that if a person who lost someone recently is going to see this, you are not alone unless you want to be.
Life is love.
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